10 FUNNY PICK-UP LINES!

Laugh

Laugh (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Women find humor irresistible, so guys if you can make a woman laugh, you could win her in a laugh beat. My husband was a verrrry serious man and I taught him how to see the lighter, funnier side of the world. In a relationship, humor is a must…not for serious matters because that’s why they are called serious, they need serious treatment but things that should not be too seriously.

Here are 10 funny pick up lines! Steal a woman’s heart by making her laugh:

1.  Aren’t you tired already? Because you’ve been running in my mind all night long.

2.   Am I a bad shooter? Because I keep on missing you.

3.  Hi! Are you google? Because you got everything that I’ve been looking for.

4.  You must be a thief because you stole my heart.

5.  Are you a dictionary? Because you add meaning to my life.

6. Oooops! I think I lost my number. Can I have yours?

7.  Sorry, I forgot your name. Can I call you mine?

8.  Hi! You got raisins? No? Well, how about a date?

9.  Life without you is like a broken pencil….pointless!

10.  I only want to be with you twice….now and forever.

Have fun with my corny jokes 🙂 Sometimes the way to a woman’s heart is not through brawns or brain but humor.

Copyright 2013 Ketchie V, Schauf

 

WOULD YOU MARRY SOMEONE WITH HUGE STUDENT LOAN DEBT?

English: Day 3 of the protest Occupy Wall Stre...

English: Day 3 of the protest Occupy Wall Street in Manhattan’s Zuccotti Park. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My husband, although his father was an airline captain at United back then, with money and was willing to pay for his college, told his parents he’s going to the nearby community college and would transfer two years later to Northern Illinois University. Same pattern was followed by his younger brother and they both saved their parents a ton of money. He rationalized that companies later on when they hire you won’t look where you started, if you started at community college, but will only check where you graduated. Even Reader’s Digest suggested this to parents years ago.

Today, more and more Americans are loaded not only with personal credit card debt but with student loan debt. The average student loan debt is $27,000 and 1.2 million Americans have student loans more than $100,000. Since 2008, an increase of 97% of student loan are backed by Federal government as they have lower interest than the private lenders. Student loans cannot be discharged in bankruptcy so people are stuck with it until they pay it off.

Debt is not a sexy talk. It could ruin any gorgeous face or figure. It reflects a risky or irresponsible character of a person too. I know someone who had $120,000 debt accumulated from some fancy liberal arts degree, also went to a culinary school, went back to her home state and started working as a server in a restaurant. And she was only 24-years-old. I believe she has to disclose all her debt status to her future husband, as all should do, because when money is a strain to a relationship, it’s one strain that can remove whatever lovey-dovey feelings present in a relationship. And if the guy would still accept her after knowing her debt, that means the guy is willing to take the risk and can’t blame anyone if later on she won’t be able to pay it and he has to help her out.

Doctors and lawyers usually leave school with $200,000 plus in debt but because these professions receive lucrative income in the future, their acquiring of huge debt is fine, although no debt still the best way to do it. But with many students stuck with useless but fancy liberal arts degree, the debt-disclosure when in a serious relationship should be a must and should be discussed on who’s going to pay for it if they get married. May not be a sexy talk but definitely an adult conversation that needs to be done by any serious couple. Enter marriage with both your eyes wide open about each other’s debt or else your debt will do you apart.

 

Copyright 2013 Ketchie V. Schauf

THE LOST CHILDREN OF DIVORCE

Divorce Busting

Divorce Busting (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Little kids are very possessive, you hear them say, “That’s my mom/dad. Don’t touch him/her. She/He is mine!” We laugh when when we see this but to kids, the world is about mom&dad and everybody inside their house. They believe mom&dad belongs to him and he belongs to them.

That’s why  divorce is the scariest and most traumatic event for any children because without their permission, beyond their control, his world is being shattered by the very people who gave him that world. Mom&Dad is confusing him now. Why not stay together? When he has a fight with his brother or sister, mom&dad tells him to say sorry and patch things up! Why divorce? Can’t they see it’s hurting ME? Or maybe, if only he was a good kid ALL THE TIME mom&dad won’t do this divorce. Kids blame themselves too on their parents divorce.

Aside from confusion is the anger. He is angry because that’s not what he wants. He wants mommy and daddy together. Then there’s the fear. Where is he going to live? Will he still see his daddy/mommy later?

And the most dreadful thought, “What if mommy or daddy will marry someone later?” Deep inside even after a divorce, the kids still hope mom and dad may get back and get married again. But once there’s a new person in the picture, they know the fantasy has to end and there’s no hope. Their parents remarrying is the most dreadful because now they really feel they lost their belongingness. Who do they belong to now? Especially when there’s the stepbrother/sister to deal with, and later his mom/dad’s new kid with their new spouse, to them they are now lost.

They don’t feel they belong to anybody anymore, they are the outsider now who has no claim to the new world forced around them. What used to be a perfect world, now it’s a shattered world with him on the outside, watching a broken dream he will never be able to fix. And the sad thing is, he feels like he does not belong anywhere anymore that’s why alone, by himself, he will live his world outside and away from the people whom he love but destroyed his belongingness and his world.

Copyright 2013 Ketchie V. Schauf

WHY DIVORCE HAS MORE PUBLICITY STUNT THAN A HOLLYWOOD MOVIE?

Divorce Busting

Divorce Busting (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the propaganda war of divorce, there is the villain and there is the victim. Nobody wants to play the villain of course and everybody wants to play the victim. That’s why for the first time, people around them will hear terrible stories about the other spouse, surprising people around them about these “terrible secrets”. Remember, the one who can play the victim card will be the one to get the sympathy card. There will be a lot of plotting involved, even going through counseling just to say they did their part.

But deep inside the person who wanted the divorce knows it’s over and what they really want is out and they won’t do anything to fix it because fixing it means staying married. They are actually horrified of the idea of getting their marriage fix because to them, the reason why they are not happy is their husband/wife and they will miss the chance of finding out the “real happiness” that awaits them out there if they stay married.

There is the part also of playing mean and difficult to the other spouse hoping the other will quit and file for divorce. This is when criticism is all time high to justify all the petty fights, hoping the other spouse will do the deed. This is what happened to someone I know. The ex-wife later admitted she treated him badly because she was hoping he will leave him and divorce her. People don’t want to say, “I divorced my wife/husband.”. They prefer to say, “My terrible wife/husband divorced me.” Remember, in the PR world of divorce, there’s the villain and the victim. And people aim to snatch the victim card trophy that’s why they will plot, maneuver, lie and insist it was their husband/wife’s fault and they were just forced to do it.

Copyright 2013 Ketchie V. Schauf

 

 

WHY JANUARY IS THE DIVORCE MONTH?

Divorce Busting

Divorce Busting (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

People by nature want to celebrate holidays as they should be celebrated -with happy faces as they share happy greetings  with friends, families and the rest of the world. The pressure not to ruin the holiday for anybody is like a holiday etiquette every well-mannered human being has to observe.

The couple knew already, or maybe one of them, that when the festive season is over, the marriage funeral is going to be announced. I heard a story of a couple wherein the woman told the man they cannot break up yet because her family is coming over. If that woman felt that pressure, how much more married couples whose kids want to see Santa, open their Christmas gifts, families and relatives coming over, invitations for parties everywhere and maybe deep inside still hoping the dreaded marriage funeral on January won’t really happen. January divorce is a couple’s way of saying, “At least we didn’t play Scrooge and ruin your holiday!”.

Copyright 2013 Ketchie V. Schauf

WHY MEN IN AMERICA ARE SCARED OF MARRIAGE?

Marriage

Marriage (Photo credit: Lel4nd)

Two reasons: money and trust issues. Men are good in math. They know that 50% of all marriages end up in divorce, with 80% of them filed by women. That is 4 out of 10 marriages are ended by the wife filing the divorce. There’s a 40% chance they gamble and may lose. Divorce is equivalent to death. Death in relationships and death in finances. They do the math and they think of child support, division of assets, lawyer fees, or alimony if she was a stay-home wife for a long time.

Financial instability play a big role too. They know marriage means babies and a house and in their number conscious mind, that equals money. There’s even a trend developing right now among male Americans in their 20s and 30s that instead of pursuing financial success, they want a more leisurely lifestyle, no career pressure, unmarried and with no kids. Quite disturbing but real.

Another source of fear, men hear a lot of marriage-stories-gone-bad from their own families, friends, relatives, co-workers and other people. The older they get, the more “horror stories” they hear which convinces them they are doing the smart thing staying single. They notice this and download this in their brain under the file of “Why-I-should-not-get-married”. Marriage has become Las Vegas to them but a gamble that may ruin them forever and not worth taking a chance.

Men wants love and marriage, but men are afraid and they no longer trust the system to be favorable to them. In the 1970s when the no-fault divorce became a law, it opened a new way  of opting out of marriage easily instead of working on it and divorce has become more the chosen option instead of working on their marriage . And also, the culture of living together (majority don’t end up in marriage) gave men the benefits of marriage without signing the marriage deed. As I heard a man said about his nine-year girlfriend, “Why fix it when it’s not broken”, and that has become their attitude today.

But there’s hope to this. If a woman can convince her man that marriage to her won’t lead to another divorce statistic, if you can “gently” cure him of his “marital phobia” by curing him of his trust issues, that you are safe and can be trusted, then there’s hope. I know two men who avowed to lifetime bachelorhood, but when they met the right woman, they got married right away. It’s not that men don’t want marriage because they do. It’s just that men nowadays are scared of marriage and it’s up to the women to cure them of that. When a man says, “I don’t want to get married!”, what he’s actually saying, “I’m afraid of getting married.” I’m sure he loves you but he has to picture you as a safe bet, a trusted partner in the future, then he may take the plunge and marry you.

Copyright 2013 Ketchie V. Schauf

A FATHER’S DAY STORY: A FATHER’S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE…WHERE LOVE MEANS SACRIFICE

My husband and I were at Mc Donald’s where sitting in front of us was a middle-aged man with his teenage son. Instead of a son talking about sports and school, the father has to watch his teenage son playing, tapping his fingers on the window, trying to make sounds because he cannot speak and has to be gently told by his dad he has to finish eating because he has to go to work and they need to leave. His son is a special child.

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MEN ARE SIMPLE CREATURES

Love Love Love

Love Love Love (Photo credit: Gregory Jordan)

What does men want? Men’s basic needs are three things: give them sex whenever they want and feed them food when they’re hungry and respect them always. Men are ruled by their other brain the one situated below their waist and by their hungry stomach. These are the kinds of “loving” that every man wants and don’t want to be ignored especially when they’re married and life gets busy with kids. Any woman who will guarantee her man unlimited access to these three things will find a man who will be so happy to repay her with favors in return. A flight attendant told the pilots she told her husband “whenever you need me, day or night, even 2 A.M., just tell me and I’ll do anything you want” because she said she would rather have him go to her than have him go to other women. All the pilots said how they wish their wives will say the same thing to them because that’s every man’s dream for their wife to say that to them.

Men are not mind readers and while women love to give him drama or silent treatment when they quarrel with the belief “If you really love me you should know why I’m upset with you ” this only frustrates men because men only understand straight talk. Men are fixers and to them a quarrel is a project, a problem that needs to be fixed therefore need some details. Men are tell-me-the-situation-so-I-can-fix-it and not these drama of guess-why-I’m-upset-with-you-today-or-else.

Men are visual creatures that’s why they may gain some few pounds themselves but they want their woman to still look nice. The wife can have a mommy-look dealing with kids but when giving time with her husband, she should transform herself into his “girlfriend”. Most of all, men want to be appreciated. Men’s purpose is to be a provider and when they feel they don’t fulfill that role, they feel frustrated and incompetent but when they feel they are doing their role as the bread winner, they feel puffed up but at the same time would love to hear appreciative words from his wife validating his being a good provider.

Women may call an emergency meeting with her friends to talk about her latest problem at home and spend hours and days to discuss it so she can feel better but to men, that’s a no no. They will stay quiet because in men’s world the rule is, talking about your problem is a sign of weakness, meaning he’s not in control of his life and family that’s why when men get together they will talk about sports and other stuff but not their personal problem. Men hate it when they found out their wife gossiped to her friends or families about their problem. Women’s answer to everything is to talk and more talk. To men, they want you to inform them, not to complain and to remind them instead of criticize. Same way women enjoy their shopping, let men have their Fiesta Bowl or whatever football team they’re into.

Men can endure the words of other people but the words of their wives are the only ones that can either wound them or pleasantly tug their hearts. Men want their wives to be their bestfriend but not in the girlfriend way but as their loving partner in life. Third important thing is to respect, honor and never humiliate, belittle him, in public or in front of the kids. Speak to him the way you respectfully treat your girlfriend or pet. Love and respect goes a long way in marriage.

Copyright 2013 Ketchie V. Schauf

THE POWER OF YOUR WORDS

Cover of "The Hidden Messages in Water"

Cover of The Hidden Messages in Water

A Japanese experiment conducted by Dr. Masaru Emoto in an elementary school demonstrated the power of words. Two jars of cooked rice were both labeled separately one with label “Thank you” and the other “You fool”. Everyday the kids will go up to these jars and speak the words. After thirty days the jar with the words “thank you” remained unchanged and had sweet aroma but the jar with the words “you fool” became moldy, rotten and smelly. Others who duplicated the experiment got the same result with others using labels like “I love you” and the other ” I hate you”.

Another experiment of Dr. Emoto was the water crystal. In his amazing book The Hidden Messages in Water, he showed the pictures of the result of his experiment. Emoto put water in different glasses, labeled them individually with a word( negative, positive), a picture, or a music (rock music, orchestra, etc.). He then froze them at certain temperature and later looked them under the microscopic photograph. He showed waters exposed to positive words gave beautiful crystal forms while the others exposed to negative words had ugly forms. You can check his works at youtube and the internet.

If the rice in that jar died because of words spoken to it in just thirty days, how much more the people around us we speak of continuously of “deadly words” year after year. We all know the power of words in our lives. We experienced words that built us up and words that tear us down. Families, relationships, nations were built and destroyed by words. Instead of telling someone “You’re no good. You won’t amount to anything”, build them up by saying “I believe in you. You will have a better future.” The best gift anyone can give to anybody, especially parents to their children and spouses, are constant outpouring of life giving words spoken to people around you.

The Bible says “Life and death is IN the power of tongue”. Jesus said in John 7 “..It is the Spirit that gives life…The WORDS I told you are SPIRIT and they give LIFE.” The Bible talked of the world created into existence by WORD. Words spoken to us do have power and they shape us no matter we want to or not.

Copyright 2013 katenews2day